Stay with me
by faynyx
Summary: a new romance for my city elf, in the arling of amaranthine after saying good bye to Alistair, she looks to build a new life at vigils keep all the while someone looks to open her heart once more.


I sat on the edge of my bed staring at the red rose Alistair had given me over a year ago. It still bloomed as beautiful as the day he gave it to me, even though it should be dead by now. I suspected he had asked Wynne to enchant it for him at some point before giving it to me. I touched the petals softly; its beauty had once filled me with such overwhelming love now it almost crushed me with incredible loneliness. I sighed sadly, and removed the rose from its vase and placed it gently into a drawer. Having it in sight brought back memories of our time together, of a love I could no longer have. I wiped a tired hand down my face swiping away tears I hadn't felt fall. It was time to let go and move on from him, saying goodbye to him had destroyed something inside of me, but it had been the right decision for him and me both, being an elf, even one who was the hero of ferelden, could never marry a king.

A soft knock came from my door and I looked up as Nathaniel stood quietly in my doorway. His piercing amber eyes watching me carefully. He cleared his throat his voice coming out in a silky drawl, "I wanted to thank you for helping me today. Finding my sister meant the world to me."

I smiled softly. "You're more than welcome Nathaniel, I'm glad it worked out for you both."

He crossed his arms and leaned against the doorframe. "It's more than that Commander; you had no reason to look for her other than for me. No one has ever done something for me just because they wanted to." he began to stroke his chin thoughtfully. "You are not what I expected. When I came back here, I had many misconceptions regarding the person you were before we met. So many horrible things crossed my mind about the woman who killed my father, yet you are none of those things."

My green eyes flicked to his face then to the wall, shaking my head, "it's alright Nathaniel."

He uncrossed his arms and moved into the room, sitting next to me on the bed. "No, please let me finish. My father was evil, his crimes even more so, you did what you had to because he gave you no other option. I see that now." his hand reached towards my chin drawing my face to meet his eyes. "Everything I thought I knew was wrong. His death was the only mercy you could have ever granted him."

I lowered my eyes unable to meet his swallowing hard. "I know you asked Ogren about your father's death."

Nathaniel raised an eyebrow and scoffed, "I thought I needed to know the details of my father's death, but now that I know you and I've seen you fight, I believe you would have given him a quick death." He sighed resting his hand over mine. "Since our very first meeting you have done everything to be kind and welcoming to me even going so far as to find my grandfathers bow and return it. You have been a good friend to me even when I didn't deserve it and I thank you."

I blinked rapidly in surprise, glancing up to his face. "We didn't have the best of introductions, but I am glad you now think of us as friends." I pulled my hand from his gently and tucked a stray lock of ruby hair behind my ear. "It's getting late and I should retire, there is much to be done in the morning."

He nodded in agreement and began to stand. "Commander?"

I sighed, "Please Nathaniel, if we are going to be friends call me Fiera."

He paused at the doorway, "I don't know if I can do that Commander."

I frowned at him. "Why?" I asked confused.

He studied me intently for a moment. "I can't say," he replied before leaving my chambers closing the door quietly behind him.

I stared at the door long after he had departed my eyebrows creased in confusion. I didn't understand what he meant, perhaps I wasn't supposed to. I rubbed my eyes tiredly trying to push the confounding statement from my mind and began to undress for bed.

Days passed, turning into months, I found several more recruits for the grey Wardens all the while helping the others restore the vigil. I watched from the battlements as the outer wall was rebuilt twice as strong as it had been before. My days had become so occupied with daily meetings with the fellow landowners and their subjects that I began to sneak into the woods near the keep at night to hunt and give myself a few hours of peace. Once or twice, Anders joined me but he wasn't very good with a bow and didn't like to use his magic to kill an animal, he called it unsportsmanlike. Ogren joined me only one time, but scared everything away for miles. We ended up returning less than a half hour after leaving. At some time during our walk, he convinced me to try his special brew. I don't remember how we got back that evening, though I hear tales of him carrying me back to the vigil.

The only other who showed any interest in actual hunting with me was Nathaniel. His skill with a bow was unmatched by any other, I had seen him take down a deer from over one hundred yards away. My own skill with a bow was above proficient but I was better with snares and traps than he was. I began to look forwards to our quiet evenings together, we never really spoke much, choosing to enjoy the quiet of the woods and each other's companionship instead.

I prepped my pack for the evening grateful to have some place to go other than staying in the keep. I slung my bow across my back and left my room closing my door quietly. Today's events were still fresh in my mind and I needed space away from the vigil.

"Heading out to hunt Commander?" Captain Garvel asked as I walked by.

"Yes." I replied shortly. "I may be gone longer than usual this evening."

"This wouldn't have anything to do with King Alistair being here would it?" Anders asked slyly a smirk playing on his lips.

I scowled at Anders. "No it does not."

"You sure? I heard a lot of shouting from your chambers earlier."

My shoulders slumped. Alistair had been angry that I had not personally reported and assassination attempt on me by some of the other nobility who had been holding a grudge towards me since I had killed the old Arl. He had felt a personal appearance at the keep was necessary. It had been close to a year since I had seen him last, shortly after I arrived at the vigil and a few weeks after I had left Denerium. I think he had thought the space apart would make me would change my mind, to rethink my decision to leave him. I ground my jaw firmly together, and shot daggers at Anders, damn the mage for being so nosy. "Alistair and I had a difference of opinion."

"Yes, it seems your king was displeased about being dismissed from your chambers." Valanna stated matter-of-factly.

I flushed red, taking a deep breath.

"If the Commander wishes leave the keep, I do not believe any of you have the right to question her reasons why." Nathaniel defended calmly joining us in the hall. His grandfathers' bow gripped tightly in his hand, and his pack slung over his shoulder. I threw him a grateful smile for his timely intervention.

"Shall we?" he asked sweeping a hand towards the doors. I nodded silently and headed towards the exit. We walked from the keep in silence heading south to the woods.

"Thanks," I murmured once we were at the tree line.

He grinned, "None needed, and sometimes my noble birth gives me an advantage in these situations."

I stepped over several branches and around tree roots. "Do you miss it?" I asked curiously.

"I thought I did." he answered honestly. "But I find my life as a Warden to be more fulfilling than it ever was as a noble."

"I think I know what you mean; growing up in the alienage there isn't much of a life for a city elf. Being a grey Warden gives me more purpose than being a servant or a lady in waiting."

He nodded and we both went silent. Our usual camping spot was not far ahead of us, I knelt and starting setting new snares and traps. Nathaniel went on ahead and began to collect branches and sticks for the fire we would have later. I would check the older traps after we hunted. Once I finished I joined him at the camp where I noticed he had collected a fair amount of wood. We dropped our packs near a log we used to sit on and melted together into the trees tracking any sign of wild life in the area.

Several yards north of our camp, we discovered tracks; quietly we followed them cautious to not make any noise. Nathaniel stopped, and inclined his head to the east. I followed his line of sight and stopped when my eyes rested upon a large wild boar. I drew an arrow from my quiver and notched it into my bow, from the corner of my eye I could see him do the same. Our arrows flew less than a second apart, sinking less than an inch apart into the beasts' neck. It fell where it had stood, I grinned broadly at Nathaniel in the dark, months of hunting with him had vastly improved my marksmanship. He grinned, slapping me proudly on the back and we went to retrieve our prize. Together we carried it back to our camp using rope from one of the packs to tress its legs on to a large branch and carried it out of the woods and back to the keep. We were met just outside the gates by some of the soldiers who happily relieved us of the boar for the kitchens. Unencumbered of the beast we melted back in to the forest.

Nathaniel went back to the camp and started working on the fire, while I began checking my traps. I smiled at our bounty carrying several rabbits and squirrels back to him. I handed two of the rabbits to him and put the rest in to my pack to give to the kitchen when we returned. He skinned them quickly, and soon they were on spits roasting over the open fire. I buried the skins in the dirt nearby to help dry them out. I sat on the ground in front of the fire using the log to rest my back against and we watched the meat cook. Nathaniel had added something to the meat; I could smell the spices as he turned them slowly.

My mouth was watering and my stomach growling loudly by the time he pulled them off and handed one to me. I moaned when my teeth sank into the flesh juices filling my mouth. We passed a canteen of water back and forth, as we devoured the rabbits. Before long, the meat was gone and our bellies filled. I tossed a log in the fire building it up to keep the evening chill away.

Nathaniel looked at me thoughtfully tossing bones into the fire. "I get why you had to leave the keep tonight."

I inhaled sharply, "we leave to hunt every night."

"You and I both know tonight was different."

I looked up from the fire turning to face him my eyebrows knitted together. "Ok?"

"I don't know if I could stay in close proximity to someone I had been in love with once either." he watched my face carefully as he spoke. "To be that close and yet unable to be with them would kill something inside of me."

A sob caught in my throat, how had he known exactly how I felt? I exhaled slowly fighting the lump of tears that threatened and returned my eyes to the fire. "It was my choice to end it you know. One he is still unhappy about. 'Tis one of the reasons we fought tonight."

I could almost hear his thoughts racing as I continued, "he is the king, I am an elf we could never marry or have children, and I do not want to be his mistress for the rest of my life." Silence settled between us and we watched the fire snapped and crackled in the dark.

"Then he is a fool, if he truly loved you he would marry you anyway," he declared.

I smiled sadly." You and I both know that will never happen. Ferelden will never let and elf be queen."

I felt Nathaniel slide to the ground next to me. "Do you still love him?"

"Does it matter?" I growled. "If there is one thing I have learned being a Grey Warden is that we will always sacrifice our own happiness for the greater good." I glanced over at him sighing sadly. "But to answer your question, a part of me will always love him but I will not let that rule me."

His eyes traveled over my face and he spoke softly, "Do you think you will love again?"

I twisted the end of my braid in my fingers. "In the alienage we don't often marry for love, our parents instead finding suitable matches for us when we come of age. Alistair and I were thrown together by circumstances beyond our control if it hadn't been for the blight, and for Loghain's betrayal at Ostagar we may never had ended up together. Despite all we were facing we fell in love, a love that could never continue once he was crowned. I left him so he could find someone else to fall in love with and marry." My heart thudded loudly in my chest, "but I like to think that I could find love again."

"That is good."

His eyes turned back to the fire his face thoughtful. I watched him quietly for several minutes, the light from the fire dancing across his features, his ebony hair fluttered softly in the slight breeze. He cleared his throat startling me. "Would you like to know why I call you Commander?"

I nodded quickly my eyes never leaving his face. "I admit the thought has left me curious."

"That was the plan." He grinned mischievously. "To call you by your name would make you a woman."

I frowned at him. "I am a woman."

His eyes met mine and something dark flashed behind them. He growled, "believe me, I know what you are Fiera." his hand slid over mine. "Calling you by your title allowed me to distance that part of you. I thought if I didn't use your name, calling you instead by your title would make you just another warrior to me."

"But you just called me by my name, what changed?" I breathed.

He stared at me intently drawing my hand to his lips. "You did. Hunting with you in these woods has changed how I see you. Here you are free to be you without the burdens of being the Warden Commander on your shoulders. Truth is, I enjoy every moment I am alone with you out here."

I held my breath as his lips touched the back of my hand softly. "Why have you never said anything before?"

"Because of the king, I though you two were still..." he paused, "I would never expose my feelings toward someone who was already involved with another."

I bit my lip. "And now that you know we are not?"

His eyes heated at my words and his left hand snaked to the back of my neck drawing my lips to his. My heart fluttered wildly in my chest and my eyes drifted closed, his mouth was warm against mine I could feel a hunger in the kiss. I dug my fingers into his hair pulling his mouth hard against mine. He growled when my fingers brushed his ear and he pulled away from my lips.

"Send me away Fiera, tell me you do not want this, if you don't..." his voice trailing off.

Boldly, I climbed on to his lap and cupped his face in my palms. "I don't want to send you away," I purred.

Growling, his hand fisted into my hair and he pulled my mouth back to his. We fed on each other's lips, our tongues locked in an age-old dance. He worked my mouth as his fingers undid the braid in my hair, letting it loose to hang like a curtain down my back. I moaned when he bit my lip gently. I trailed kisses along his jaw to his ear, sucking the lobe between my teeth. He panted in my ear and I felt his hands along my armor undoing the buckles. I released his lobe and pulled back to look at him, his eyes smoldered with heat, raising my arms and helped him take my top off. I sat on his lap naked from the waist off and fought the desire to cover myself with my hands. He enveloped me in his arms rolling us to the ground.

I watched him as he exposed his own chest, hard taunt muscles pressed against my palms as I explored his skin. He watched me through wild eyes while I touched him. Running my thumbs across his nipples. I could feel him pressed against me between our remaining armor and I murmured in pleasure. His hands slid to my hips slowly peeling off my greaves and everything else with it. His gaze traveled the length of me devouring the sight of me lying there naked and exposed to him. He stood and reached for his pack and pulled out a bedroll and laid it out on the ground. I sat up and crawled over on top of it, rolling over onto my back I held my hand out to him. He let out a growl and stripped off his remaining clothing.

The light of the fire made his tan skin look even darker, his dark black hair was loose from the tie that held it back and it hung around his face. He knelt and climbed into my arms nothing but skin against skin for the first time. My fair skin looked translucent against his as I ran my hands soothingly up and down his back. His lips found mine and we fed on each other's mouths. His palms cupped my breasts and I arched against him. He kissed slowly down my jaw and across my collarbone, I gasped when his lips found my nipple and began licking and sucking greedily. His fingers hands a trail down from my chest over my ribs and hips and slid between my thighs. His fingers found my bud the same time he bit lightly on my nipple.

I cried out in pleasure, his teeth released the one breast and he sucked the other between his wicked lips as his fingers slid inside of me. His fingers found me already wet, one finger slid steadily in an out of my tight hole a second finger joined the first working the opening wetter and wider. My breathing became shallow as each stroke brought me closer to climax. I moved my hips in sync with his rhythm arching against his hand; I came hard with a flick of his thumb against my clit bucking wildly against his hand as waves of euphoria washed over me. His hand moved slowly away as he pushed up on his forearms. He placed a quick sweet kiss on my lips, pressing his hips against mine.

"I want to remember you like this forever," he murmured his eyes raking my face and body trying to memorize everything about this moment. I nodded unable to speak, drinking in the full sight of him. My eyes widened at the size of him pressed at my entrance, I only had to a second to wonder if this was going to hurt.

"Forgive me," he begged biting my shoulder as he slammed into me. I cried out in both pleasure and pain. A tear leaked out of the corner of my eye and he brushed it away with a kiss. "Are you alright?" he asked not moving. My muscled clamped down on him hard unused to having something so large inside of me. His voice murmured soothingly against my jaw. Slipping a hand between us he lazily circled my clit rolling it between his fingertips expertly, a moan escaped my throat and he pulled out, I whimpered and dug my nails into his shoulders locking my legs around his waist. He thrust his hips against mine pushing into me again he did this repeatedly until my body no longer resisted. I welcomed each movement of his hips and found myself meeting each with my own. The pressure between my legs increasing, I moaned and arched my hips each thrust building towards our sweet release and when it came, we both cried out our voices like breaking glass in the quiet night. Wave after wave bliss rolled through me. His seed spilled hot and deep inside. We lay locked together unable to move. Sleepily I drew small soothing circles on his back, a satisfied smile playing on my lips. His breath was warm against my neck as he held me in his arms kissing my throat gently.

"You won't be calling me Commander after this will you?" I asked.

I could feel his smile against my skin, his arms tightening around me. Next to us, the fire burned low and the lullaby of the wood lulled us to sleep. Tomorrow may bring new troubles for us to deal with. But tonight I drifted off in to a peaceful sleep in my new lovers arms.

I woke before Nathaniel; the sun was just beginning to peak through the trees. I snuggled closer in his arms and listen to the steady rhythm of his breathing a part of me didn't want to leave this place but I knew if we didn't return to the keep soon they would send out a search party for us. I rolled over causing him to roll onto his back. Running my fingers slowly over his chest.

"Nathaniel," I whispered. "Its dawn we need to get back."

He groaned, "If I open my eyes than the dream I had last night will be over."

I smiled and kissed him slowly, "perhaps the same dream will happen tonight?"

His eyes cracked open. "Promise?"

I laughed and swatted his chest playfully. "Only if we get up now."

His eyes narrowed, fingers intertwining into my hair. He drew my lips back down to his for a longer kiss. I moaned softly into his mouth pressing against him. His hand encircled my waist and pulled me atop of him. I could feel his hardness throbbing between us and I purred.

His lips released mine and his amber eye met my green ones. He traced a long finger down the curve of my cheek. "Stay with me? Just a little longer?" he breathed a note of hopefulness in his voice.

Blinking slowly, I reached between our bodies, wrapping my fingers around his length and guided him into me. He let out a sharp breath as I lowered my hips gradually.

"Just a little longer," I promised breathlessly.


End file.
